This would not be fun to have

The other day, a patient comes to the ER and states " I think I am farting through my penis". Now, I hear a lot of weird stuff in the ER everyday, and so something like this doesn't faze me. I am thinking " you probably need to increase your dose of antipsychotic medication" but what the hell-lets take a look.
Sure enough, this unfortunate man, has a foley catheter ( a tube that goes into your bladder through your penis ((yes, penis)) into you bladder) that was placed after he had surgery for colon cancer a couple of months ago. The catheter is attached to a bag which normally should contain only urine-this man's bag had stool (shit-in non medical terms)!
Turns out he had a colo-vesicular fistula-an abnormal connection between the bladder and colon probably as a result of the colon cancer.
This definetely ranks up there in my list of things that I pray I dont get! On the upside, I suppose you could have a helluva party trick with this condition.

Today, the bat removal guy is here. Sealing up the house so the bats can get out but not in. The other night, I had just sat down on the throne, I heard the critter(s) scratching the ceiling just above my head. Oh my guano! I jumped 6 feet in the air, and my guano retreated to a safe place in the colon. Thankfully, i had taped the bathroom vent shut with ducttape and so no new bat-attack!